However, Clear is pregnant again. She knows it, but disclaims it she has no time to think in this. And then future is closed she cannot make live together the hope of a child to be born and the despair of people who is going to disappear. But it is to count without Jamie. He also knows! This man, who lived a big party of its life to the animals, attentive to their cycle of reproduction, knows that she waits for a baby, as he would have known it about a filly of whom he likes to be in charge. For him, future, it is this child.
Suddenly, life takes back its rights. Suddenly, what they sacrificed was not vain and he can accept defeat, death to come, because this baby will take with him all that itself will never have.
Then his decision is made. It returns Clear across stones so that their child is in the shelter. It returns Clear to Frank so that he has a father.
Is there an act of nicer love than this one? A more altruistic gesture? Is not it to be an exemplary father, that to give to his child a future of which they are devoid?
Extract: Volume 2: Dragongly in amber
— Jamie, I say slowly. You are happy for the infant?
Exiled from Scotland, forbidden by stay in its own home and having only vague future plans in France, they could excuse him for not being too hot at the idea of meeting with an additional load.
He did not answer right away, gripped me a little more extremely against him, pushed a light sigh finally before confirming:
— But yes, certainly, Sassenach.
The hand went down more low, fondled my belly.
— I am happy. And proud. But I am so terrifically afraid.
— Fright of what? of birth? Everything will go well, you will see.
I understood his fears. His mother had died in coat and delivery and her complications were one of the first reasons of female mortality. Nevertheless, I knew myself there in the field and had no intention to subject me to what was taken to epoch for obstetrics.
— It is not everything, it resumed. I want you I shall protect, you to of my body you and the child, as a topcoat.
His voice was soft and husky, but I smelt come the hitch.
— I would make anything for you but I can make nothing. I try unsuccessfully to be strong and attentive, I can accompany you in this test nor help you no way. When I think of all that you risk yes, this frightens me, Sassenach. And then...
It turned me to him, a hand was slowly closed again on my breast.
—. when I imagine you nursing our child I feel flying off as a soap bubble ready to burst of joy.
Moved, I clutched it of all my force.
— Oh, Clear! it resumed. I like you so much that I have the impression that my heart is going to drop.
Therefore, their Parisian life leaves them only not enough opportunity to be interested in this child in future. It is still not a matter for them to cast in a family future, since all their energy is used to carry out an abortion on an announced massacre.
How could they concentrate on their simple happiness, knowing that it would be to the detriment of the hope of a Scottish future? Could they be happy? They doubt it certainly.
And this child dies. Reasons are numerous, those that we assume, those who are inevitable with epoch, those that we shall never know.
And then, we ask question, beyond infinite sadness. What would have been the life of this child? Where was his place within a couple agent of such responsibility?
Nothing in life of Clear and Jamie at this instant, leaves place to an infant. Nothing of the future which we know them could not pretend to give him a happy life.
Where then everything would have been able to differ and they can stop one instant to imagine what would have been their life if Faith had survived.
At least there remains Fergus! Faithful and thankful, and small Ian who admires it and likes it as a father. Because it is that he is Jamie, and life tries unsuccessfully to say and nice make, to the point of withdrawing him his children he is a father, it is its nature.
He is the father of Faith, Brianna, William, Fergus, Ian, Marsali, Joan. He is the father of all those who form a line in his sides to live and build.
Life can manhandle us of all possible ways. We stay whom we are in the depths of us. It is what he says to us Jamie.
Jamie and Clear would have stayed in Paris perhaps bringing up their child beside Fergus, working for Jared, playing their role the courtyard of the King. Difficult to imagine them in this cramped and superficial life. But why not?
Anyhow, Faith died. It is a fact. His small body rests for eternity on French earth. And Clear and Jamie go back to their dear Scotland beside Fergus, this adopted son on the meeting of their destiny, so funeral she is.
Fergus whom Jamie will have to return in Lallybroch finally while themselves walk hopelessly towards accursed wasteland of Culloden, porter at the same time of an essential message on the future of domain, and also to be the messenger of their history. Their son that they watch leaving in the distance, as the symbol of a future which will not be.
(volume 2: Dragonfly in amber)
Fergus came back with a small glassy inkwell and a vide feather. We signed each in its turn, by taking support against the wall. Murtagh signed the first. I pointed out that, besides Fraser, he was also called FitzGibbons.
— You want me to carry it to your sister? he asked Jamie, while I agitated paper to dry it.
— No, Fergus is going to take responsibility for it.
The child opened big round eyes.
— Yes, you.
Jamie took me the paper of hands, folded it and slipped it under Fergus's belt.
— You will carry it to my sister, Mrs Murray. This paper is more worth that my life, or than yours.
Gaspingly by the enormity of mission which they entrusted him, Fergus was straight held in the rain, hands were crossed in front of him.
— You can depend on to me, milord!
A suspicion of smile crossed the look of Jamie and it put down a hand on the skull of the child, by tousling him hair.
— I know it, Fergus, and I am thankful to you there.
It made slip the big cabochon of his father of the finger, and tightened it to him.
— Go to stables and show this ring to the old man whom you will see over there. Say to him that I asked you to take Donas. Then you will go to Lallybroch straight. Stop only to sleep and, for it, will you hide you?
Fergus was so much thrilled that he did not any more succeed in speaking. Murtagh threw him a sceptical look.
— You think that the kid will succeed in taking up your hellish animal?
— Yes, I am sure there, answered Jamie.
Clear leaves, taking in his breast this child who will remain for Jamie a disembodied love. Not for a long time he tells himself since he plans to die on the wasteland. Die, then wait 200 years to find Clear. It is what he promised him.
Except that Jamie does not die. Nothing will ever be spared to him, not even life.
Then Jamie survives. As he can. As a shade first of all, then as a man when it has other companions to support, and finally, as a father, when lady Geneva gives him a son before dying from it, Willie which carries the forename of its elder brother.
Some years of happiness, or something that gets closer to this hidden son there where he will be able to let express this party of him so fundamental! But and then again, to like his child makes it leave. Again, it has the right, not the choice …
Volume 3: Voyager
mostly, Willie brought him only joy. It loved MacKenzie and, as he grew, passed more and more time with him, sitting astride the big horses of trait when Jamie crossed the roll in fields, or playing the summer in carts when they brought back the hay of the high pasture.
A threat influenced however this bucolic, more obvious existence as months passed. By a sad irony, it came from Very Willie, and the poor person could nothing there.
- What adorable child! And how it holds well in saddle! lady Grozier swooned.
It was held on the veranda where she had tea with lady Dunsany, admiring peregrinations of the small lord around the lawn.
Filled up with ease, the grandmother exploded with laughter.
- Oh yes. Willie loves his pony. We have a wrong madman to make it of saddle take down to take its meals. And he agrees so well with his groom! We sometimes joke by saying that it spends so much time with MacKenzie that he begins even resembling him physically!
Lady Grozier, who, until then, had not paid attention to the man who accompanied the child, adjusted his lorgnette.
- But yes, that's true! it cried. As it am extraordinary! Look, Willie has exactly the same harbour of head and the same manner of taking out the shoulders!
Again Jamie must entrust his child to another father before the circle of the boy point out their likeness.
Is it humanly bearable? Even if this father, this time is a friend, the price to be paid is unbearable.
Where does Jamie go get force in him to stay standing? to continue being this man inserts?
Joan and Marsali
It goes back to Lallybroch because it is its nest, its envelope, its past and, he hopes for it his future.
But Lallybroch lived without him too many years and his place is taken unless he is too much abimé to take back this place which was his. Anyhow, brought forward, hurt, solitary he thinks that by bringing up the children of other one, he will be able finally, fulfil his father's role.
The girls of Laoghaire are not responsible for the madness of their mother, and in some way, they deserve a father such as him. But it is too hard, impossible even! Then it leaves, still, trainant with shone its loneliness as a load of which he cannot come undone.
Faith and Fergus
Beyond what arrives at him, Jamie has this trait of character which defines it more than quite other, to be leader, a man who likes to look after his. Laird not to doubt it. He never acts for his own count, but still for the clan or for one of his members.
To what it aspires more than everything, it is to live with its family within its very dear Lallybroch. Also, when Clear thinking she should be sterile, announces him that she will not give him of child, Jamie is collapsed. Even if, to reassure it, he assures Clear that it is as well because so it does not risk dying in coat, its disappointment sweats and it is an additional blow on its young shoulders.
Then what a joy for him to learn some months later that, finally Clear expects a baby of him! It is what allows him to rebuild after unbearable torment that BJR inflicted him. It is a bright point in a future however very dark.